One Misssed Call
by Andorian Ice Princess-AIP
Summary: Normally one missed call wouldn't bother him but by the end of Matt's first week away from work, Kelly's agitation at his absent friend and not getting a promised call is enough for him to take a day and go in search. But when he finds Matt, he doesn't exactly see the picture of rest and relaxation. In fact he arrives just in time to literally save his life. Based on eppy 2.01


**Title: One Missed Call**

**Summary: **Normally one missed call wouldn't bother him but by the end of Matt's first week away from work, Kelly's agitation at his absent friend and not getting a promised call is enough for him to take a day and go in search. But when he finds Matt, he doesn't exactly see the picture of rest and relaxation. In fact he arrives just in time to literally save his life.

**Disclaimer: **Uh…well if you don't know read more of my stories lol my muse is broke and my DVD's are well worn! Otherwise…we sadly own nothing *sigh*

**A/N:** Okay so over a private discussion we thought about Matt's time off and his fishing and stuff but I'm sure with the good times where also some tougher moments b/c he just lost someone he loved deeply and that would still linger, especially right after it happened. So I wanted to write an angsty little piece…b/c you know we love our angsty bromance hehe and hope you all like this! Oh and I know Stranger just updated on Friday but my muse was just so CF inspired this was born so hope that's okay! Hey can never have too much CF right? *grin*  
(**PS **the first two paragraphs are from my 1.23 eppy OS 'shattered' as a time reference.)

* * *

***ending to 'Shattered'***

_"Just rest now," Severide instructs as he reaches for a small pillow, propping it up against his shoulder and encouraging Casey to just lean on him for however long he needed. At first Casey wants to protest, his quivering lips wanting to tell Severide to leave him alone and he'd be fine. But as he leans against the strong shoulder in the darkened dwelling, his mind would force his heart to feel comfort he didn't think possible after such a hellish experience. _

_No more words are spoken as the two sit side by side in the dark. Casey's at first troubled gasps and labored breathing finally slows to small bursts and then easing into a steady rhythm as his puffy eyes close and he's whisked away into the hellish realm of horrific personal nightmares. He'll find no comfort in the hours to follow; his body shutting down was due mostly to having nothing else left inside to ponder the other option of keeping him awake and not wanting to sleep for comfort or refreshment. _

_Severide looks at a picture of him and Casey taken at the Academy dinner and feels a small twinge of comfort starting to overtake him and in that moment offers a silent prayer for the strength to help Casey in the days to come and a promise to himself and to the man beside him, his brother, that no matter what and come what may, Casey would never have to face anything alone – ever._

***2 weeks later***

Severide knocks on Casey's door and waits a few seconds before he pulls his key and slowly turns the lock. He remembers bringing Casey home the night of Hallie's death and then seeing things in order, then coming back one week later and seeing the complete opposite. Now…another week later…things looked back in order – Matt Casey order.

"Clean again…thank god," Severide whispers as he closes the front door behind him. "Matt?" Severide calls out as he listens to the silence. "Hey Matt! You around?" He tries once more before he heads toward the back, peering out the window to see the truck still parked in its usual spot. "What on earth?" Severide asks as he turns and decides to check out upstairs. As he nears the top of the stairs he finally hears Casey's voice in the far room and approaches. He can't help but stifle a small chuckle when he hears Casey singing badly off key in the shower.

"Hey Matt!" Severide calls out so as not to startle his friend.

"Kelly?"

"Yeah man I'll be downstairs. Take your time."

"Be out soon."

"Sure," Severide mutters as he turns and heads back downstairs. His head pops into the other rooms just to check on their upkeep, his lips offering a satisfied smile that everything at least _seemed_ to be in order. But he knows how easily Matt fell apart after Hallie's death and now worries that unless Matt takes some real time to himself to heal…clear his head that he'll never be able to properly move on.

"You staying for supper?" Casey asks as he walks into the kitchen, Severide pulling away from the back window and looking at Casey with a friendly gaze.

"Sure. You okay? Boden said you left shift early but didn't say why."

"Yeah I'm fine…I'm just…I'm tired," Casey admits with a heavy sigh.

"Given anymore thought to taking some time off? Some real time?"

"Kelly…"

"My dad has that small cabin in the woods. It's not much but if you want the keys, they're yours."

"I appreciate it. Dawson also told me about this other place…some favorite place of her dad's. Supposed to be the best fishing in the state."

"That's great. Is there a place to stay up there also or would you camp?"

"Kelly…"

"Matt you need a real break," Severide mentions kindly. "After what happened. Take the time. The department has given you a month off. Two weeks holidays and two weeks paid leave. Man you need it."

"You trying to get rid of me?" Casey retorts with a gentle smirk before his lips emit a heavy sigh.

"Who would I bug? Otis?" Severide counters.

"It sounds great…nothing but fishing and sleeping in and…"

"And reflecting and making a real plan to just…"

"Deal with it."

"Matt…"

"I know what everyone is thinking. And I'm…" Casey pauses as he opens the fridge and then closes the door a bit too firmly; making Severide arch his brows in wonder. "I need a break."

"Yeah you do," Severide states matter-of-factly. "So why don't we make supper and then make a plan to get you…into the woods…catching some fish," Severide concludes with a grin. "Got anything to eat?"

"Actually…yes," Casey nods firmly as he turns back to the fridge, pulls open the door and then pulls out a Tupperware container.

"What…is that?"

"Actually…I don't know," Casey frowns as both of them peer at the bottom.

"Pizza's on me."

"And you expect me to cook…what for a month at a cabin in the woods?"

"You don't have to be there the whole time," Severide mentions as he watches Casey head for the garbage and toss the Tupperware container with the mystery stuff in it into the garbage and turn back with a wondering glance. "Start with a week okay? One week. After one week I'll call you or you call me and we'll…hey if it sucks you can come back and just hang here. But the weather is supposed to be great for the next few weeks and you might just love it and tell me we'll talk again in a week or two."

"You don't need to keep tabs."

"Humor me. One week okay?"

"One week…okay," Casey nods after a few seconds of pondering the plausible suggestion. "Doesn't seem so daunting now," he adds with a soft whisper before he looks up with a tight smile. "Want Chinese?"

"How about Greek?" Severide asks with a wide grin.

"Thai!" They both exclaim at once.

XXXXXXXX

"This is the map to dad's cabin…if you get there and it's not all it's cracked up to be or…or you want something a bit more…"

"Friendlier?" Casey interjects as Severide offers him a sympathetic smile.

"Sure friendly. Then go there. Here's the spare key."

"I'll be okay."

"Remember…one week. You call or else."

"Afraid of the or else," Casey lightly smirks as he taps his phone before putting it into his pocket and picking up his duffle bag. "At least the weather will be descent."

"Call if you need anything…no matter what okay?"

"I will," Casey replies as he gives Severide a firm nod, both of them heading outside, Severide waiting until Casey locks his home and then slowly walking toward his truck. "I'll call in a week."

"Okay," Severide replies with a strained tone as he watches Casey's truck pull away and then finally disappear around the corner. "He'll be okay," Severide tells himself in a low tone as he heads toward his car and gets in. He looks at Casey's quiet home, the spare key entrusted to him to check up on it while he was away but already feeling his friend's absence. "He'll be okay," he tells himself once more as he pulls away from the curb and heads for home.

Casey turns on the radio and leans back in the front seat of his truck as he heads for the highway and then to follow the signs that would lead him out of town. His mind at first is tight and agitated as it thinks about the past tormented weeks and all that he had faced. Hallie coming back into his life. Starting a new future path. Then having her ripped away in the worst way possible. Wanting and taking revenge. Nearly losing everything. Telling her parents. Telling Christie. Going to the funeral. All the while his own inner sanctum was slowly crumbling around him; no one on the outside guessing the inner personal turmoil he would come home to until Severide one day broached the barrier, forced his way inside and saw what he had been dealing with. Then his friend went to Boden and Boden intervened. As much as he balked, it was what he needed.

He nears the exit that would take him up to lake country and wonders what this place would be like. He brought enough food and supplies for a week, telling himself that civilization was close by and if he wanted something new or fresh or a refill of anything a short drive would fulfill that request and give him another diversion.

Casey finally nears the turnoff to the short dirt road that would take him to the cabin. With the windows open, his senses are already taking in all the fresh air, his whole frame relaxed and his mind wondering just how good the fishing is and if he'd be able to brag about it when he got back. _I'm going to be fine…_he tries to convince himself as he nears the small quiet cabin.

It wasn't much to look at but Casey didn't care, he wasn't there for the architecture, he was there to rest. He stops his truck and then looks around for a few seconds before he finally climbs out of the cabin. The serene stillness instantly captivates him, along with the fresh air and his lips can't help but smile as he takes in a deep breath. Before unpacking anything, he takes the key, unlocks the door to the cabin and opens the two doors and windows, hoping to air it out a little and thankful that it wasn't being inhabited by anything with more than two legs or wings.

_You're their leader Matt…you need to hold it together for them…be brave…_his mind recalls as Casey slowly meanders down the narrow path toward the lake, his mind takes in everything from the past two weeks and within seconds his breathing starts to shallow and his vision cloud. He seems himself holding Hallie's limp frame begging her to breathe.

"Snap…out of it," Casey gently scolds himself as he nears the lake. _It's okay to let it out here…no one's around…let it out if you have to…don't hold it all inside. _ But the words are easier to say than to actually put into practice as he knows old habits die hard. Since his father died he was sick of playing the pity card and didn't want sympathy so learned to shield his emotions and put on a brave face for the rest of the world; choosing instead to crumble in secret. _That's not good either! _His brain correctly reminds him.

He lingers by the shoreline a little bit longer before he turns and heads back toward his truck and slowly unpacks. As soon as everything has been carried into the cabin, he starts to do a grounds search to ensure he has everything he'd need when the sun went down.

Casey enters the quiet cabin and closes the door and stands still in place. But the longer he does the faster he's hit with the fact that he's alone. No one's coming. It's just him. "Okay…gotta make dinner," Casey tells himself as he finally removes himself from place and heads for the fridge. _Keep busy…don't let your mind wander or dwell!_ The past week Severide had dropped by his home, same with Mills, Dawson, Cruz and Boden…they all wanted to make sure he was okay but it was an excuse to cook something for someone other than himself. Tonight…for the next month…_damn I'll be out here on my own…every single day…alone? For a month? _"I can't do this," Casey mutters to himself with a shallow breath as he closes the fridge door and then takes a few steps back and slumps down in a nearby chair, his gaze cast toward the small window over the sink as the sun slowly starts to sink beneath the horizon. _You need to face this…deal with it…you came here to clear your head…now clear it. You loved Hallie. You…._

"No," Casey's voice utters in a soft whisper. "NO MORE!" He shouts as he pushes himself up from the chair and storms outside the cabin; looking at the few bits of daylight left and starts to run toward the entrance of the main road at a brisk pace. _You need to face this…deal with it…you came here to clear…_

"NO!" Casey shouts into the air as his fists punch and his body slightly falters. "I'm fine…" he huffs as he regains his stance and carries on. He reaches the entrance to the main road and stops, his chest heaving and his brow damp with sweat. "I'm…fine," he tries to convince himself once more. He waits for a few seconds before a slight chill in the air starts to nip at his rapidly cooling frame and he heads back to the cabin at a brisk pace. "I'm…fine," Casey tells himself a little breathlessly as he reaches the cabin, heads inside and then cleans against the door breathing hard. _I know she's dead…and I'm okay with…everything. _

"I'm okay."

Casey heads into the bedroom; fatigue calling him to so much so that he changes into a pair of dry sweats and a clean tee, drops to the bed, covers himself with a blanket and then literally passes out until the morning; food not even a consideration. Casey's eyes slowly open and then gently squint as he looks at the slit of sun coming under the bedroom window.

"Fishing…go fishing today," Casey tells himself as he realizes that even if he were to catch something who could he tell? _ I could always text Kelly…I know I said I'd call in a week but…no I can't call…he'll think me weak or needy or…LONELY! You're lonely and there's nothing wrong with that. Kelly cares…go fishing and then call him._

"Sure," Casey mutters as he uprights himself and then rubs his face. He gets out of bed and heads into the kitchen, his grumbling stomach yelling at him to put something into it to help ease the acidic agitation. He opens the fridge and reaches for the carton of eggs, a loaf of bread and a small tomato. "I can do this."

About an hour later, Casey heads down to the lake with some of his gear in his grasp. He spies the small motorboat that Dawson said he could use; the paddles on the seat if he wanted to go silent mode to keep from scaring the fish away. But today he tells himself he'll just walk the lake and head out to the small dock and see what he could catch. At first his mind is distracted, making him just stand at the end of the dock and stare absently at the lake. "Okay…time to get busy." _There's nothing wrong with sitting down and thinking about everything…clearing your head…that's why you're here. _

But Casey knows that if he starts to think about everything…he'll just drown in his own melancholy and be doomed. However, what he can't see is once he reaches the bottom of the dark emotional pit, he'll remain there for a brief time but then climb back up and be better for it. But he had to make that downward spiral all the way to the bottom first, by always stopping halfway down, he was only delaying the inevitable – a complete emotional meltdown.

Casey finally tosses his line into the water and waits…and waits…and waits…

An hour passes…two….three…nothing.

"Nothing…" Casey huffs sadly as he pulls up his line and then looks around the rather secluded area. "Hallie would have…damn she would have loved it here," he whispers before he tosses his line over the other side of the dock. _Talk about it…talk to the water…talk to the trees….talk to her! …just talk it out!_

"Maybe I'll try over here…" Casey tells himself, not wanting to face his inner emotional angst in any way; trying to convince himself that even being out here, he still had to maintain his brave face…his strong façade…his false sense of being in control. _You're not okay…you need to face this…you came out here to clear your head….NOW CLEAR IT! _His mind shouts.

"NO! I'M FINE!" Casey shouts; a few birds taking flight at the startling exclamation. He angrily jerks his line out of the water, snapping the line and offering an angry growl to anything within earshot. _A month? I can't even see myself making it to the end of the week! Take the week…if you don't and go back too soon, Boden will scold you and everyone will just ask a whole bunch of questions…_he once again falsely reasons.

So he takes a deep breath, fixes his line and tosses it back into the water once more; telling himself to stick to his plan, fish, relax…eat regularly and … _CLEAR YOUR HEAD!_

XXXXXXXX

"How's Casey? Heard from him yet?" Shay asks Severide early Friday morning before shift.

"Not yet…said he'd call tonight to brag about his catches," Severide replies with an uneasy smile. "I'm sure he's having a great time up there."

Shay tosses him back an uneasy smile as she takes her leave, Severide watching her go; a frown growing on his face as he pulls his phone and checks his call log. Nothing. Even a missed call would be better because then he could call back, using work as an excuse. But no call…he could say he's a bit paranoid, laugh about it, but he doesn't want to seem like he's parenting Casey. _He's your friend and in a bad way after a horrific life ordeal…you're showing concern. _Severide puts his phone back in his pocket telling himself that he'd wait on Casey as planned but if he didn't call tonight, then at least he'd have a reason to call in the morning – he missed their appointment.

But as much as he tells himself to keep his mind preoccupied with work, he's not able to give 100% attention as he can't help but wonder how Casey's faring. He remembers the discussion they had a few days after Hallie's death when Matt was so insistent on coming back to work.

_'I came through my father's murder just fine and this…Kelly I'm not the guy who goes around talking about things.'_

_'Okay but you need to find a way to let out all the emotion inside. Yeah okay fine so those are Boden's words but they are true. If you keep them all inside you'll explode you know that. You have to find a way to deal with all this openly.'_

_'I'll be fine Kelly. I will…don't worry okay?'_

Damn I do worry! Severide's mind inwardly growls. But before he has time to ponder more of his tormented discussion with his absent friend, the alarm bell sounds and it's all hands on deck. By the end of the call, Severide wants nothing more than to find a small bed and crash, praying the last few hours of his set pass by without incident so that he can head home, get some rest and start his few days off without too much worry or concern. _Yeah like that'll happen…unless Matt calls, you'll be climbing the walls with worry. _And he knows that's true. Casey was all alone in a strange place thinking about Hallie's murder. _Damn I shouldn't have let him go alone. _

The next few hours thankfully are quiet but Severide is forced to keep his mind busy with work, finding whatever paperwork needed tending to even going to Boden to see if there was something he could do to keep his mind occupied.

"Casey will be fine. He needs this time to work things out…clear his head and then he'll be back," Boden warmly assures him; Severide offering a somewhat strained smiled as he takes his leave. He finally heads for home wondering what Casey had been up to all week and if he did catch the big one as he had lightly bragged about before leaving. He reaches home, phone on the ready and starts to put away a few groceries he picked up on the way home. And then he waits.

No call.

So he readies himself with making dinner for him and Shay. The discussion of him moving out and finding a place with Renee and the baby was somewhat strained for Shay, so he always kept their conversations as of late focused on work or Casey…something neutral that wouldn't add to the burgeoning tension between them. He looks at the clock and then puts dinner in the oven. And then he waits.

No call.

Shay finally comes home, talking excitedly about their last call; allowing his mind to finally focus on something other than the growing silence and distract him for about a half hour. Shay helps make a few things for the dinner and then they sit down to eat. Shay asks about Casey but he merely brushes it off as if it's nothing and he's going to call. Dinner starts and then he waits.

Still no call.

By the time Severide is about to call it a night, his mind is restless with agitation. _Matt should have called…what if something happened? What if nothing happened? What if he's in trouble? What if he's having a good time? What if he was just so exhausted from the day's fun events and catching all the fish that he just went to bed and will call in the morning? It's one call….one missed call is no big deal. Wait until morning._

So that's what he does. He says goodnight to Shay, keeps his phone at his bedside just in case and turns off the light, praying that his last thought of Casey having a good time and being too tired to call was the truth. He'd talk to him in the morning.

Morning comes and Severide looks at the phone. _'No missed calls' _He furrows his brow as he pushes himself out of bed, trying to convince himself that it was still early and Casey was probably sleeping in. He didn't have a schedule to stick to so sleeping in was a given. _Get breakfast…keep busy and he'll call. _So that's what he does. He waits. However, a few hours later…

Still no call.

Severide reaches for his phone and calls. At first he gets empty rings and leaves a message. Then he goes about getting a few things done. Still no call. This time he sends a text. Then he heads down to the covered garage to tinker on his car, looking at the off color panel that needs to be painted the same color as the rest – when he can afford it. Still no call.

"Damn it Matt…come on pick up," Severide grumbles as he hangs up, not wanting to leave yet another message.

"Maybe he's busy….you know fishing or doing whatever guys do in the bush," Shay lightly shrugs as Severide purses his lips in frustration. "Give it another hour and then…"

"Then I'm going for a drive."

"Seriously Kelly?"

"Shay this is Matt. Even on vacation he's…he's always on, look I know th…he should have called."

"So he missed one check in time, maybe he's having too great a time and figures you'll know that. I know you're worried but…but he's a big boy and can take care of himself."

"He's alone after his fiancé was murdered…he's not okay," Severide lightly argues back as Shay's brow raise. "I'm sorry I just…"

"Wait an hour, call and then go for a drive. You're not doing anything else today right?"

"Right," Severide mutters as he begrudgingly takes the advice. But as soon as the hour is over, he makes an important call. _No answer…still no answer…_ as much as he doesn't want to give in to seeming paranoia he knows that to ignore a gut feeling could have disastrous consequences. _I'll say I had to take the car for a drive to….to whatever and brought some beer…I'll stay for dinner and…and whatever. Just get going!_

Severide packs himself a small overnight bag, picks up a small case of beer and then hits the road. Casey still hadn't called and while it was only one call that he's missed he knows he wouldn't be able to focus if it went on for another week and he still hadn't heard how Casey was progressing. _He just wanted to blow this all over…he can't…he needs to deal with it and then move on…but he can't move on until he deals with it. _

Severide finally nears the turn off to the cabin, the air warm, the sun shining brightly but his mind agitated and stressed. _Just see Casey….you'll see he's okay and everything will be fine. _He nears the cabin and spies Casey's truck and the quiet cabin, stops his car and gets out.

"Matt? Hey Matt!" Severide calls out as he nears the entrance to the cabin. "Hey buddy you in there?" Severide calls out once more with a friendly but tight smile. He opens the door to the small cabin and listens for a few minutes to make sure Casey wasn't in the bathroom or something before proceeding. But when he hears only silence he goes to investigate a little further. "Damn it Matt," Severide whispers as he notices the fridge is still stocked, there's very few items in the garbage but most of the beer has been drunk. "Has he been eating this past week at all?" He turns and hurries back outside into the warm afternoon air, looking around the cabin before heading down to the lake. "Maybe he's been eating the fish he's been catching," Severide tells himself as he nears the lake entrance. Once again he hears only silence.

He reaches the edge of the lake and starts to look around, noticing the stillness in the air, broken only a few times by a warm afternoon breeze. Severide nears the dock and finally notices the small boat in the middle of the lake. "Matt! Hey Matt!" Severide calls out when he doesn't see anyone. _Maybe he's swimming? _But a few minutes later Casey doesn't surface and Severide's panic starts to blossom. _What if he drown? He was in the boat…maybe a line got snagged and he….maybe he hit his head?...don't panic just…yet…_Severide's eyes are quickly diverted a ways down the edge of the shore where he notices Casey's things.

"MATT!" He tries once more as his panic starts to seize his core. He rushes back to the dock and frantically scans the area for his missing friend. Nothing. _He's in the water…get into the damn water! _Severide's mind yells as he starts to pull off his tee-shirt and shoes. Not having brought any swim trunks he growls at himself but figures no one's around watching and so takes off his jeans, leaving only a pair of blue boxers covering his skin. He calls Casey's name once more before holding his breath and then diving into the water. At first it's cold and a shock to his system but he water is also someplace he feels comfortable so within seconds he's starting into a strong stroke toward the lingering boat.

"Matt!" Severide calls out with a small gasp as he nears the boat. "Hey Matt…you there? Making me…swim all the…way there…as a joke?" Severide huffs as he nears the hull of the small skiff. "If you're in there…laughing your ass…at me…I swear…I'll kill you!"

His cold hands grip the sides and pull him up so that he's able to look into the boat. "Matt! Oh damn no!" Severide shouts at seeing Casey's unmoving frame slumped down into the belly of the boat. "Matt!" He shouts as he maneuvers himself into the middle of the boat and then scrambles to get inside. "Matt!" Once he does he looks at Casey's somewhat sunburnt skin. His fingers race for his neck, feeling for a pulse and then literally thanking god that he's alive.

"Matt," Severide gently pats his warm cheek. "Damn you're burning up," he grumbles as he quickly pulls up the anchor and then turns for the motor. "Damn it's dead!" He grumbles as he gently pulls the paddles out from underneath Casey's right side and then starts to pull them back toward shore. "Matt…buddy come on now…wake up and tell me something…I'm in my boxers in a rowboat and….WAKE UP!" He shouts before he offers himself a small grumble. _He's either suffering from heatstroke or…just get to shore and get him inside…_

They finally reach shore, Severide spying Casey's small carrying bag that he had brought down to shore, shoves his clothes into it and then heads back to Casey's still frame. "The fishing gear will have…to wait," he grunts as he gently jostles Casey's up in to his arms; putting him into a cradle carry back to the cabin. "You've lost weight…come on buddy…wake up and ask me how I know that," Severide huffs as he reaches the top of a small hill and then heads for the cabin, Casey's limp frame still quiet in his grasp. "Come on Matt…wake up," Severide lightly begs as he nears the cabin. He pushes the door open with his wet runner and then carries Matt into the small bedroom and gently deposits his body on the bed.

"What's…going on," he touches Casey's forehead and then starts to do a rapid body search to see if anything was causing Casey medical or physical distress. "Nothing…must be heatstroke. Damn have you been eating?" Severide hurries to get a cool damp cloth from the bathroom, folding it in half and then placing it on Casey's forehead, leaving his body uncovered from the blanket, his tee shirt and shorts doing enough but the rest of his skin warm and needing to cool down.

After Casey was comfortable, Severide dries and dresses and then heads back outside, down to the water, secures the boat and grabs the rest of the gear and heads back to the cabin. He retrieves the rest of his own personal items and closes the cabin doors just in time to hear an angry grunt.

"Matt?" Severide lightly exclaims as he enters the bedroom as Casey struggles to sit up. "Hey…just lie still for a bit longer."

"Damn…what happened?" Casey asks with a heavy frown as he allows his eyes to focus and then fixes on his friends concerned expression. "Kelly? What…are you doing here?"

"Knew you were in trouble?"

"Yeah…how?" Casey mumbles somewhat sleepily.

"Women's intuition," he smirks as Casey's face offers a small, wry smile. "Matt….hey buddy what happened?" Severide asks firmly as Casey's eyes open and look up once more. "I found you in a boat in the middle of the lake, passed out."

"The boat….oh damn Kelly…the boat…" Casey huffs as he tries to sit up.

"Hey rest a bit longer. I took care of it."

"I…I wanted to take the boat out…" Casey starts with a small sigh as his hand raises to touch his very sun-kissed face. "I feel…."

"Yeah you're a little burnt. Matt?"

"I took the boat out. Dropped anchor and…and…Kelly I can't stay here."

"And what?" Severide presses.

"And I sat there. It was hot. I started to feel warm and then…I heard your voice…at first it sounded like Hallie calling to me. Kelly I can't stay here. I hear her voice calling to me to help her and I try to push it aside but…"

"Why? Why try to push aside. You're alone up here. That's the point in coming. You want to cry or yell or curse or whatever…you can. No one is here to judge or ask questions. But you have to deal with it…you can't just push it aside."

"Why not!" Casey asks sharply as he bolts upright. But upon doing so, the blood rushes instantly to his head and he's hit with black spots and dizzy spells; his hands cradling his face as Severide gently lowers him back down to a lying position. "Kelly I'm okay…I just…"

"That's BS and we both know it. You need to clear your head and you came here to do that. By the looks of it you haven't been eating much of anything. Not eating and drinking and then going into the hot sun isn't good and you know it," Severide tells him in a concerned tone. "Matt, what happened if you were passed out and the boat…I don't know got a leak or something or you fell over and…drowned," Severide lightly growls as he looks away, Casey looking up in torment.

"I can't face this…I can't face failing Hallie. She came back for us and I just…I can't."

"But you have to and you know that. Matt if you don't come to terms with this you'll never be okay. I know it's different for all of us but you have to face this."

"I know," Casey finally admits in a soft whisper. "I just…don't want to."

"You got heatstroke. Just rest a bit longer."

"Want to stay for dinner?"

"Heck yes. I didn't drive up all this way for nothing," Severide smirks. "I'll head back tomorrow. After I catch some of these fish I heard Dawson bragging about. And the boat is fine by the way."

"Thank you."

"It…"

"No Kelly…thank you," Casey starts with a small frown. "I haven't been eating or….even sleeping much and I went out today…in the hot sun with very little food or sleep. I can't keep doing this. But…but I'm scared to face it. What happened. I'm scared," Casey admits with a sad lament. "I'm sorry."

"Don't be sorry," Severide replies matter-of-factly. "Nothing to be sorry for. I can't help you come to terms with it because you have to do that on your own. I just came here to see if you were okay. I care Matt and I want to see you work past this but on your own terms okay? Not mine or Boden's….or anyone's."

"I know," Casey agrees as his arms fold under his head and he looks up in misery. "This past week….damn Kelly all I did was wallow in my own pity and guilt…my own misery," he sighs as he slowly rolls onto his side, his right arm folded under his head. "I just didn't want to face what inside. I know I have to and I…I didn't feel like eating or sleeping and I just…wanted to wallow."

"Yeah I get that," Severide offers Casey a sympathetic expression as he reaches for the damp cloth that had fallen away. "Had lunch yet?"

"I'm not…no. I haven't."

"Heard fish bite better in the late afternoon," Severide tells him in a friendly tone. "I'll make lunch and you just rest."

"I don't want…to be a bur…"

"Hush and just rest now," Severide firmly barks, prompting Casey to look up in wonder. "You know you'd do the same for me so why are you putting up a fuss over a friend showing you a bit of concern."

"I would," Casey agrees in haste. He watches Severide take his leave and then sinks back into his bed and curses himself and his foolhardy actions. But being honest with himself, he knows that Severide showing up was the best thing that could have happened; it was the wakeup call he needed. _Time to stop making your friends worry for nothing! You need to face this and come to terms with it. You came to clear your head…now…DO IT!_

About half hour later, Casey slowly stumbles into the small kitchen area and looks at the modest but hearty lunch that Severide had made and feels his guilt slowly starting to consume him. _He's a friend and he was right…you would have done the same for him…looked after him in his time of need. Use his strength now. Use it as a starting point._

"Now…eat everything or else," Severide lightly smirks as Casey looks at him in amusement. But he's not about to argue as his stomach offers a large growl, prompting him to start into the sandwich and soup, thankful for the cold water. For the next hour they sit peacefully at the table, Casey drinking a few more glasses of cold water to keep the dehydration pangs at bay. After that they head outside and just relax on the small covered deck for another hour until Casey assures him that his heatstroke pangs have left him. It was finally late afternoon when they took their gear and headed back down to the lake, talking about things in general.

Severide knows as much as he wants to coax some inner emotional angst from Casey, that Casey has to be the one to offer it all willingly; that was the only way he could start the real healing process.

"Okay…let's see if we can catch supper," Severide remarks as they get ready to fish. About two hours later they start to head back to the cabin, one modest size fish in the water-filled bucket; reserved for dinner.

"I'll clean it."

"Course you are," Severide smirks as he slaps Casey on the back. "I'm the guest remember? Besides you did catch it."

"That…I did," Casey chuckles as he takes the fish out, places it on a sturdy wooden cutting board and then reaches for the sharp filet knife. About an hour later the table is set with two plates containing fish, rice, vegetables and bread. Despite his protests at first, Severide reminds Casey that it wouldn't be wise to have alcohol after even a mild bout of heatstroke; although he would argue back that Casey's wasn't just a mild case.

"It wasn't fair of me to worry you like this," Casey admits with a frustrated sigh later that evening as they both sit on the deck outside, smoking their cigars. "I feel…selfish somehow and yet comforted at the same time that you're here. I know I have to work through this alone but…but I feel that if I admit that I couldn't have stopped it, Hallie will be disappointed with me."

"But do you really think she would?" Severide counters.

"No," Casey confesses in truth. "No she wouldn't. She would never hold it against me. She…loved me," he concludes as his voice cracks. Tears fill his eyes and his throat constricts as he thinks upon another sad memory, but this time instead of leaving it all inside he lets it out, Severide offering a listening ear as he knows that's the best thing he could do right now.

For the first time in a week, Casey's sleep isn't as disturbed and he's able to sleep right through the night. His mind is still somewhat anxious when he awakens the next morning, but it's not enough to set him back as it has the past few days. When he awakens, his arms fold under his head and Hallie immediately pops into his mind. But this time he's not as quick to push her away as he had been…this time he takes the time to acknowledge the memory…the moment…the thought…the confession and is able to work through the emotional hiccup. His eyes water, his fists tighten and his lips utter whispered words meant only for his ears. It works. It's almost a breakthrough of sorts. But he knows inside his heart, it's a start. A start on the road to emotional recovery or at least acceptance of a tragic event that he was powerless to do anything but accept the outcome of.

"Morning…" Casey greets Severide with a small yawn. "Ready to go catch breakfast?" He asks with a playful smirk as Severide turns and looks at him in wonder. "Or a jog? They have a great trail here."

"You're on," Severide tells him firmly. The two of them dress for a jog and then head outside into the crisp morning air, the clear sky overhead promising them another perfect day of fishing and relaxation. They go for their run…they have their breakfast…they grab their gear and then head back down to the lake where they spend the bulk of the day. However, Casey doesn't offer as much in the way of an emotional release as he did the day before and so worries if he'll be okay. Later that night however, his fears are laid to rest – at least somewhat. Severide hears a small creak and then slips from his bed just in time to hear the door close. He heads for the front open window and spies Casey's silhouette in the dark and frowns. He decides to go around, quietly entering the darkened area and heading around to the front. He hears Casey's voice and slowly makes his way toward it.

"I remember the time when you came to that party at Christie's…you were late but uh…damn I was so happy to see you. I miss you Hallie but um…but I need to tell you something…a few things actually. It's just that…"

Severide pulls back in the dark and quietly heads back into the cabin, closing the back door and heading for the small spare bedroom. Knowing that Casey was finally talking to Hallie, in private, was comforting. It was what he needed to do and it was something Casey had to do alone and for himself only. If he did that on a nightly basis then he knows Casey will cry and work through it and come back…just fine. Or at least with a clear head.

In the morning he would make a confirmed plan with Casey to check in every couple of days to see how he was and to ask how he was faring, if he talked more to Hallie or if he was holding it all in. He would make sure that Casey didn't feel alone and that he was getting the proper food and rest that he needed and he would make sure that there would be no more missed calls; even one. One missed call and it could have cost him the life of someone he holds dear.

He hears Casey come back in about half hour later and offers a whispered good night.

Casey replies back with his own whispered goodnight and then heads into his bedroom to get some real rest. Talking to Hallie had been emotionally draining but after he had done it, he felt…better…lighter…freer? His mind wasn't as filled with agitation as it had been even a few hours earlier and he knows he has to keep confronting each emotional charge one at a time and work through it; faltering if he had to in that moment but then picking himself back up so that when someone asked he could say without an twinge of guilt or fallacy – I'm okay.

He makes a pact with himself in the dark, that very night to use the next few weeks talking to Hallie…crying, cursing, yelling….doing whatever he had to to make sure the inner torment was dealt with and the happy memories were tucked away until needed; never forgotten. Severide's kind and caring concern had picked him up when he stumbled and for that he was thankful. He had made a plan for his own emotional recovery and was going to stick to it. He came out here to heal and heal he would. But he wasn't alone and that was the biggest comfort he had in going into this emotionally draining battle. So…in the coming weeks, he'd text or call with updates and pictures of his stay at the cabin…the fish…the sun…the…whatever. Severide had shown him that life is too precious to take for granted and that is something that Hallie would have wanted for him. If for nothing else…he'd do it for her.

He had missed one call…but had promised himself that he wouldn't miss another. Neither of them would. Ever.

**THE END!**

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**A/N:** I didn't want to make this too similar to 'Rebuilding from the Ashes' but just wanted a little angsty broment for our boys as the healing process isn't all sunshine and roses and no matter how long after a loved one has passed, the pain is always still there. So I hope you liked this little piece and please do review before you go and please stay tuned for more! THANK YOU!


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